threads lore: an archive
for those who aren’t chronically online enough and are struggling to keep up with all the inside jokes and references (constantly updating!)
when I walk into a room I am FIRST a girl trying to catch up on the latest threads inside joke
welcome to the threads archive! . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
this is a silly little project I decided to put together to procrastinate studying and I’m having so much fun. as an og Threads user who joined when the app was first released, I often struggle to keep up with all the inside jokes and references being made and I know a lot of people do too. I made a notes app collating all the ones I could find, and you guys liked the idea, so I decided to make it into a public archive! happy reading and I hope this provides some clarity into our nonsense <3
my next goal is to somehow interconnect all of these… wish me luck
love from your friendly neighbourhood gossip girl, Seeta
I also want to shout out @threadsreporter and @ladythristledown who are the original trendsetters, and much more up to date sources of Threads gossip. I’m extremely grateful to them for their support, please go check them out and show them love :)
DISCLAIMERS
☆ my goal is to update the Substack weekly!
☆ please note that I’m a uni student majoring in engineering, and it’s not an easy course. I will be taking breaks because my studies are always gonna be the priority.
☆ I miss things and that’s ok, there’s no need to be rude if I get something wrong. Just correct me! It’s not that deep! I’ve already had to block a couple people for being unnecessarily rude. I’m doing my best :(
I’m considering adding some collaborators to this Substack - comment or reach out if you’re interested!! Either way, your input is always highly appreciated and helpful <3
Richard
The man, the myth, the legend. Richard was just some random old guy who used to post pro-MAGA content and reply to porn bots, basically a general pain in the ass. His contribution to the Threads lore is… dying? Literally. After he passed, his wife logged onto his account and started replying to every single post talking about how her husband had died.
Her original post “This is Richard’s wife. He has passed!” went viral first, and we reference that a lot. Many people were in the replies looking through Richard’s account, hence how we found the bots and political nonsense. We went batshit crazy and confused the hell out of poor old Mrs. Doby which ended in some extremely funny interactions such as this one. All of their posts are still up on @richard.doby!
Joyce’s depression pie
A elderly woman named Joyce made a Depression era pie, and said she’d let everyone know how it turned out after her nap. The post garnered over 400 comments later the next day with people are begging for updates, including the Calm app. Her next post, posted two hours after the pie post, was about football. Every comment was begging for a review of the pie. One user even took one for the team and tried the recipe out and it was awful but everyone was waiting for Joyce’s verdict.
We never got updates from Joyce but unfortunately, that didn’t matter anyway. It turned out that she was a Trump supporter who was just unknowingly crossposting her Facebook posts to Threads. Everyone promptly unfollowed her but her name has stayed as a warning to not trust and support every clueless boomer on the platform, for they might just be MAGA.
Connie’s dead daughter
This one had me confused for a while until the original post somehow appeared on my feed. Basically, this random lady, Connie, posted this:
The context is that she had a daughter, Sabrina, who died in 2022. On the day of her other, younger daughter’s wedding, Connie went unhinged and made the day about herself and her dead daughter. Not only is this itself extremely cruel and triggering for her living daughter on what should’ve been the best day of her life, apparently she got wasted at the function too. She also asked people to PayPal her money too. Crazy.
Naturally the entire app went ballistic and turned her living daughter (user @chrissiischmidt) into a micro celebrity after she made her iconic comeback post: “When I walk in any room I am FIRST the sister of Connie’s dead daughter”. This phrase specifically is often referenced in posts!
attic lady
I am yet to find the original post (but if I do, I’ll update this, don’t worry) but from what I’ve seen and pieced together, some woman found a potential dead body in her attic, posted it on Threads, and everyone went wild. People started giving out advice and she started a Go Fund Me and raised more than $5000 last I checked. People started trying to visit her house; it spiralled out of control. Then it turned out she’s MAGA and a general weirdo.
She suddenly deleted her Threads account and kept the Go Fund Me money, which made people suspect it was all just a sham, but it wasn’t. The last I’ve seen, her husband came onto Threads and threw a tantrum for some reason. Fastest victim to villain pipeline ever. Or for now, at least.
UPDATE: I couldn’t find a screenshot of the original post but here’s the leaky attic.
slavery wallpaper
I’d say this one is pretty self-explanatory. Some white woman found some extremely vintage wallpaper in her house. As in, way too vintage. She got called out for saying that it’s “not really appropriate” which is a massive understatement considering this is HOUSE WALLPAPER depicting genuine slavery and white supremacy. She decided to cover it up instead of listening to Black people who advised her to consult local history museums which started even more discourse. Will keep updating.
bundt cake NDA expiring
Some lady posted about how her NDA with Nothing Bundt Cakes was almost up so she was going to spill the tea. After a long wait, we finally got updates and it’s a complete waste of time. The ‘tea’ was just that Nothing Bundt use cake mix in their recipes, which is completely common for bakeries especially national chains. It’s the only way to ensure consistency at scale. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.
The Pitt is a Pittsburgh themed hospital in Hawaii
This one had me so confused when I first heard about it, but I managed to find the original post eventually, thank you Threads algorithm lords! I linked it here but basically someone started watching The Pitt and thought it was set in Hawaii and that it was a Pittsburgh themed hospital for some reason. Truly bonkers. We love to see it.
Panchi the monkey
This one was viral all-over social media, not just Threads, but since it became a huge deal on the app, I’m adding it anyway. By now, I feel like everyone knows Panchi, more commonly known as Punch.
He’s a baby Japanese macaque who went viral online in early 2026. His mother abandoned him shortly after birth, so zookeepers had to hand-raise him, and they gave him a large stuffed orangutan toy for comfort.
Videos of Panchi clinging to the plush toy spread across social media and made him an internet sensation. Clips showed him carrying the toy everywhere, getting pushed away by other monkeys and running back to the toy for comfort. This made many people online feel protective of him and root for him to find friends. More recent updates say he’s started playing with other monkeys, relying less on the toy and gradually integrating into the troop! Go Panchi!
hashbrowns
In 2025, an Aussie user (@theworddegree) took a photo of the cost of a McDonald’s hashbrown and posted it and people didn’t believe it cost over $4 (can confirm it does lol) and she started photo dumping hashbrowns as you do and everyone just joined in and started shitposting hashbrowns. As one does.
sticker gate
A user (@racheldoodlesandmore) shared an email she received from a woman who was upset about her leftist political views. This email was bold and dramatic, and spoke about the “thousands of dollars of sales lost” as a result of Rachel being outspoken. Naturally, the community rallyed to support Rachel, whose sales then skyrocketed.
Sounds great, right? Well, another user (@grumpygreetingsco) did some digging and found that the hate email address and the associated phone number belonged to Rachel herself. Yikes.
She eventually owned up and admitted everything but not until after she made a lot of money from a lie. It built a lot of distrust in the community, and is commonly referenced whenever another engagement bait scam is suspected.
I’ve also heard that the hate emails were AI-generated, which is unsurprising. I can’t verify this myself and I haven’t seen them, but I wanted to share that regardless.
denim skirts are ugly
User @belladaunasummer posted about how nobody can make denim skirts look good and people started getting extremely defensive and posted pictures of themselves in the replies trying to prove her wrong. She stood her ground and kept doubling down. It was so funny. See, if she had gone unsolicited into someone’s comments and roasted them for wearing a denim skirt, now that would be cruel and uncalled for. However, she simply made a broad, unserious post going “I hate jean skirts and they never look good on anyone”. And honestly? I agree.
Megan’s boyfriend
Some person named Megan’s boyfriend (who’s ginger, this is important information) dissed her badly to a stranger in the Denver airport and a person overhearing this reported to threads, and the whole app worked to find Megan and let her know. One of our finest hours.
A whole search dubbed “Find Megan” took place where Threads users scoured the internet for the wrongly done girlfriend. Eventually, we found her! She sent the original user (in post) a message and hopefully ended the relationship. We don’t know what happened and it ain’t our business but Megan, we’re all on your side!
angry knitting lady
A pretty simple controversy, but incredibly funny. Another incident of an old lady cross-posting from Facebook to Threads, it seems. Sarah posted her crochet work (I’ve been corrected since making the og post that she was actually crocheting but Threads just decided to dub her the angry knitting lady anyway which is hilarious), and someone replied and asked her what she was making. This was the answer.
This extremely uncalled for reply went viral, with people joining in to troll and converse with Sarah in the comments, who kept the energy for every single reply. This was one of them to someone commenting about her and her pet dog.
Someone called it “antisocial media” which is pretty fitting. Sarah doesn’t seem to be putting the joy into her name, maybe she should consider a rename! Apparently she was grieving the death of her child which makes more sense. Get better soon, Sarah.
birthday cake lady
A lady posted about her husband and kids forgetting her birthday. She made her own cake, ate it, and went to sleep. In the morning, her son eventually figured it out, and her daughter realised and texted her on the way to school. Her husband sent her a text saying "sorry we couldn't do much for your birthday". I hope she conveniently forgets to remember and celebrate her useless husband’s birthday this year!
brett’s hog and hole
Some random old junkie decided to post his full schlong and hole on main last year. I was unfortunately a first-hand witness to this. It was awful. He posted the hog first, it went viral, and for some reason he took that as a sign to post his hole too. He was turned into a microcelebrity for a day until he disappeared or something. I don’t know, I blocked him after that first vile post.
You may see the incident referenced under posts in ways such as “I’d rather see Brett’s unsolicited hog on my TL than this”, which is an actual example. Thank you Brett, for your contribution to Threads lore. We are not grateful for your service.
sherlocked / admiring the walls
A classic example of elder parents guilt-tripping their children into doing things. A good old “why don’t my kids want to talk to me anymore?” situation. I do believe that OP’s response was rather uncalled for, but I also do get it. It feels like she’s been holding in her feelings for a while. The “admiring the walls” and Sherlocked tag are references to another situation that I’ve summarised below this:
UPDATE: I’ve since been informed that the origin story of Sherlocked was that she and her husband bought her mother and father-in-law’s house and they were supposed to move out but never did. Her sister-in-law comes over every Tuesday with her kids and expects someone to feed all of them without asking, and Sherlocked generally keeps getting guilted into things for the in laws. The husband is complicit and seems to let Sherlocked deal with this on her own.
Then the sister-in-law and mother-in-law decided that SIL’s child’s birthday party would be hosted at Sherlocked’s house without asking her. I’ve been told it was also on a Tuesday night and she had to work.
They didn’t ask her for permission and they didn’t actually ask her to help either so she naturally decided that it wasn’t her problem. As she should. At one point during the party they wanted her to make a birthday cake and she said she was sure they could handle it and went off to admire the walls.
This spawned an entire movement of women standing their ground and walking off to admire their own walls rather than facilitating everyone else’s needs. We love to see it.
beastberry (blueberry stalker neighbour)
This incident has been unfolding since July 2025. OP was @missimouse84 but her account is no longer available so I’ll paraphrase.
Senior citizen neighbour called the police and accused OP and her family of stealing blueberries from her bush (they apparently don’t even eat blueberries). She went out every morning and counted them. After she called 911, a family of deer walked past and started munching on the berries.
A month later, she tried to sue OP for putting a fence up on their own property because it “blocked her view”. The view in question being OP’s backyard.
This wasn’t her first rodeo, according to OP. They had issues with her paying for a landscaper to cut her lawn and getting him to cut theirs as well. She also screamed at OP’s young daughter for accidentally mowing over the property line and physically assaulted her.
There’s many more, including her putting up cameras looking into OP’s property, getting workers to have their break on OP’s property instead of hers.
They even get off on the wrong foot with the lady screaming at OP for using her own driveway when she first moved in, and then at her husband for apologising.
Even the previous homeowners allegedly had their own horror stories to share.
Homeowner 1 claimed that the woman got angry with her and her husband for parking momentarily in the shared driveway during a snowstorm because they were taking their baby to the hospital because “someone might drive up to visit her”.
Homeowner 2 claimed she called the fire department because they were cooking on their grill and she thought the smoke was a fire. Apparently it was a propane grill so there wasn’t any smoke. And apparently this happened 3 times.
The lady also has like 25 pink flamingos in her yard like any sane person would.
Apparently it was all made up, which checks out considering how far fetched the story was. Yet another lie. Still not was a funny experience nonetheless.
cruise live journal entries
Last year there was a lady on a cruise with her MAGA extended family who updated Threads on the drama in the form of a diary. Her username is @enna_hteb if you want to scroll all the way down to 2025. Personally I couldn’t be bothered but I applaud anyone who is. This is the best I could find.
Side note but the past three events all took place at the same time and the respective posters were all interacting and joking amongst each other which I found super funny. Threads is like one of those small towns where everyone is connected somehow.
library card
A woman’s boyfriend was mad because she had a library card and called her immature for having it. He said he had needs and she wasn’t meeting them.
What a strange man.
It started a whole “I have a library card” flex movement, because… Threads! Duh!
He also called her a pedophile (said she went to the library just to hang out with kids which is a CRAZY stupid thing to say) and she had to get a restraining order as he created a Threads account just to threaten to kill her. He violated the restraining order by sitting in his car outside her house and leaving gifts for her at her door, and because of the large number of Threads users reporting him to police, he was arrested. Never a dull moment on here. I’m glad she’s safe now. What a loser.
oh no, my delphiniums!
A Threads user woke up to some cops tackling a guy who’d run into their yard. They looked out the door and said “oh no, my delphiniums!” and everyone, including the guy himself, looked apologetic. You know what, I’ll just put the original post here.
the hat war I and II
Meta gave us party hats for Threads' first and second anniversaries in 2024 and 2025, respectively. Some people get hats that lean to the left. Some people get hats that lean to the right. It’s not a choice, it depends on your profile picture — it was programmed to detect heads and match the direction (you could toggle the hat visibility in your profile). Apparently one direction (haha 1D mentioned) is superior to the other. War ensued. Good times.
thomas the turkey
One of Threads most wholesome stories up to date! As a chicken owner in Australia, one of the worst things is waking up to find a cat or fox killed my ladies, and clearly it’s a worldwide experience. Samantha unfortunately had to go through it too.
She cried. I cried. We all cried. This is something I’d never wish upon anyone. We were all in mourning until… Thomas was found alive but injured the next day!
Omg, welcome back Thomas! I’m happy to say that I did some sleuthing and not only did Tommo make it through the night, as of March he’s recovered well. Most of his feathers are back and growing! This is the good news we love seeing on Threads.
chicken allowance
Clearly I’m not using Threads to its full potential. The context is all here and the situation is pretty self-explanatory. Replies were hilarious: poultry padre was a personal favourite. The real question is where can I find one?
radioactive shrimp
I wasn’t aware of this one but apparently there was a real food-safety incident in August 2025 where the U.S. Food and Drug Administration warned consumers not to eat certain frozen shrimp imported from Indonesia because testing found traces of Caesium‑137 in some shipments. The radiation likely came from industrial scrap metal near the Indonesian industrial zone that reached processing facilities. Some batches had already been distributed to Walmart and other brands.
The detected level was far below the FDA’s emergency threshold and authorities said it was not an immediate health hazard, but repeated exposure could theoretically raise cancer risk over time, so the shrimp were recalled as a precaution.
Once the news hit Threads, it became a viral topic: people joked about “glowing shrimp” or gaining superpowers, people made edits using the song Radioactive. There were tons of jokes about mutant seafood or Chernobyl shrimp.
the lady who washes her panties in hotel coffee makers
Yeah, you read that right. I thankfully missed this one but apparently it was a huge thing and it even ended up on the national news. I’m still searching for more information even though I think the title is pretty self-explanatory so if you know anything, feel free to reach out!
Here’s what I believe is the original TikTok.
jingles the christmas rooster
One of my favourite Christmas traditions on my neighbourhood is competing with the elaborate, flash decorations, but clearly there’s an even better one out there.
This is hilarious! To add to the stakes, whoever held custody of poor old Jingles on January 1st and 9 am got a prize. As you can see, her neighbours took this very seriously.
For more updates on Jingles and where he ended up, read the full thread here!
vodka knife aunt
I’ve been trying to dig up as much as I can on this one but from what I’ve gathered it’s about some family drama over a wedding that someone travelled to with some relatives (mother, sister, two aunts), where chaos ensued. The nickname came to be by fellow Threads users during the wedding drama. She had six mini water bottles of vodka in her checked luggage and stole three steak knives from a restaurant. OP’s user is @lakeaverno and this happened in 2025 if you want to read up on it. More information is much appreciated!
the 12 ft yard skeleton
A 12 foot skeleton that was dressed up as a Leprechaun in someone’s yard fell down. Happy early St Pat’s to this guy, clearly couldn’t hold his drink. Far out.
disfigured lemon
This guy grew a lemon that may or may not be the physical vessel for an evil entity. He thankfully defeated the demon by cutting it open, and it kind of looks like a hand or a paw?
The real question is did it taste good. I highly recommend taking a scroll through the replies, where various demon related jokes were made and people posted their own cursed, Chernobyl-produced fruit and veggies.
Steven is not dead
If only Richard could say the same.
Unfortunately, there is still a casualty. His name is Steve and he’s another relative who was suffering from some illness, and the cousin must’ve mixed them up. Rest easy, Steve. You’ll forever be immortalised in the Threads lore.
Carolyn
Steven may not be dead, but Stephen on the other hand is dead to us. Our latest accidental boomer celebrity is dear old Carolyn Wolkey for this absolute gem of a post. “He’s baldheaded” was all I needed to hear. Dump his ass, Carolyn!
Naturally, after all the other boomer celebrities on the app turned out to be awful MAGA supporters, everyone decided to run a collection background check on Carolyn, unearthing some of her older replies. We couldn’t determine if she’s MAGA or not (there was one post making fun of leftists), but she is in fact that funniest bitter old lady alive. I’m also ninety percent sure she’s on crack.
My personal favourite is her replying “I am really new at this app so I’m sorry if I don’t get back to you” to a porn bot. There’s also some posts of her cheating on her husband so I fear she’s a hypocrite. Unfortunately she’s extremely funny.
viking cruise
Yet another cruise story, following a woman who works on a Disney cruise ship. Viking was this handsome big guy who flirted with her for like a week. They went on a date, it all seemed to be going great. Then he randomly ghosted her, which is crazy, since they were both still working on the same boat. Everyone thinks he’s married. Last I heard he ended his contract and is now working on another ship. Damn. On the bright side, apparently some hot guy from her past turned up in his place so maybe all is not lost after all.
mermaids vs marine biologists
Maybe OP knows something we don’t. The world is crazy, perhaps we shouldn’t judge too soon, but STILL. The replies are so funny. There’s mermaid NDAs and dolphin kidnappers. Give it a full read here for a good laugh.
airbnb wedding
A bride who had rented out an AirBnB cancelled because the groom had a secret baby or something. She contacted the host (@heuppity) and told him to keep the full payment for the entire stay despite her and her party leaving early, and also said he could keep the wedding gifts and liquor she was leaving behind. I’ve heard that she used the AirBnB money she was refunded to pay the photographer and all the vendors (including the florist) from the wedding, and they’re all in one big group chat now. The caterer was also told to donate all the food after she paid for his services.
I’m pretty sure he managed to connect with the photographer on Threads by comparing their timelines and figuring out it was the same bride. The bridesmaids then reached out to him and they’re all in the group chat together. The host felt bad about his post going viral but the bridesmaids assured him that the bride is fine with it but livid about what’s happening with her not-husband and that “he needs to be exposed”. After gaining permission from the wedding party, he made a cryptic post about how the situation matches track 10 on Mary J. Blige’s “Mary” which insinuated that the groom was harbouring a secret child.
lost snake (sneice)
A user lost her pet python, Hydra (wonderful name, by the way) and the entire app absolutely lost it.
Her updates were hilarious, from the “wench” in her first post to “she has until 7:30 to slither her ass into view or imma have a new belt.” I’ve never heard anyone threaten a lost pet — let alone a snake — with a curfew, but I’m here for it.
I highly recommend scrolling through the entire thread because it’s the funniest thing ever. She’s still hiding as far as we know, but I’ll definitely be updating you if Hydra decides to show herself! I think she’s become the new Threads mascot in the past two days, and it’s well deserved.
pink shoes
This girl came on Threads, posted a pair of pink heels, and was very defensively arguing with everyone in the comments that the shoes are orange-red. They are very clearly hot pink. Not a single day of peace on this app. We love to see it, honestly.
Someone replied and told her they’re pink and she said: “They’re the color I said they were. Thanks.” What an icon. This is definitely going in the Thristory books. Finding out you’re colourblind through THREADS of all places must be such an experience, I lowkey can’t blame her for being so angry. Someone even found the original shoes and she still tried to argue that they’re not pink.
God bless her soul. Ignorance is bliss, after all.
obi wan jesus
This one’s fake (I’ve been on Star Wars tumblr for social media for too long to not be able to recognise these photos that have continuously posted to a different social media site every year) but it’s still funny and I was told to add this one.
planet fitness pen thief
There’s a guy stealing pens from planet fitness everyday until they run out because obviously. God forbid a man has hobbies. The count is currently at 426. I love when silly, harmless things like this unite the whole app.
It is with a heavy hard that I update y’all and say that the infamous Planet Fitness pens have now been returned to their rightful home. We’re all in mourning.
treadmill guy
Unfortunately I’ve been blocked by the guy and he’s also gone private so I can’t post pictures but basically “he” posted some long thread about meeting a hot guy in the gym while using the treadmill and it went on for a bit. Apparently he was eyeing him and then asked him out. I’m proud to say I clocked this as fake early on. I pride myself on being a nosy bitch and I’d scrolled through his account and all the posts were stories of a similar kind and they all read like AI. He has since privated his account.
griffy has a slavery kink apparently
This was by far one of the craziest Threads incidents, which went viral on Reddit and Instagram too. An influencer (who, might I add, is apparently known for making out of pocket and controversial content) posted this, which seemed like a really wholesome post and people were hyping him up in the replies. Note that this was during February, which is Black History Month.
That is, until someone unearthed this diabolical post.
What’s funnier is that this guy had been actively holding onto these screenshots for ages, quite literally waiting for this moment: “I feel so damn vindicated because for 3 years I held onto this screenshot knowing there’d be a day it’ll be needed. This was well worth the wait. God is great”.
More receipts resurfaced and Griffy got dragged. This is the kind of energy we love to see on Threads. I truly hope the girlfriend in the first picture broke up with him.
she did not shit herself in the pet toy aisle at HomeGoods
Threads is giving A24 a run for their money. The stories that we see daily on the app and diabolical in the best ways (unless you’re OP in this case). It starts off great; your average meet cute. Hopefully it all goes well, right?
RIGHT??
Oh lord, this was a rollercoaster, but at least she’s in the clear now, right? It was all just a misunderstanding that’s been resolved! It’s fine! We’re all good! Crisis averted!
But alas, this is Threads. We don’t avert crisis here. Nope.
It’s like Scott Morrison in the Engadine maccas all over again but fake. Omg.
magnesium citrate
You know what, I don’t even have a comment this time. Or any sort of witty, snarky remark. Just read this.
I’ve just learnt that this isn’t the first time this has happened. In 2024, user relthesinger went through a similar experience with magnesium citrate.
Timothee Chalamet opera and ballet comments
We’re heading into pop culture territory with this one and it’s technically not even Threads lore but we had such a field day with this one so I think it counts. If you’ve somehow been living under a rock and avoided this entire discourse, let me fill you in!!
In a March 2026 Variety conversation with Matthew McConaughey, Timothée Chalamet sparked significant backlash by suggesting that "no one cares" about ballet and opera anymore, describing them as art forms struggling to remain relevant. These comments caused widespread criticism from artists and institutions defending the classical arts especially as Chalamet comes from a family of professionally trainer ballerinas and started his career off dancing and doing musicals.
This led to him being trolled to hell and back on Threads and rightfully so.
On the topic of Chalamet flopping, I also want to mention that Marty Supreme didn’t win a single award while Sinners set a record with 16 nominations and four awards, including Best Original Screenplay (Ryan Coogler), Best Actor (Michael B Jordan), Cinematography (Autumn Durald Arkapaw), and Original Score (Ludwig Göransson).
Misty Copeland, who was recovering from a recent hip surgery at the time, performed on stage with the cast in a stellar show, proving that everyone does, in fact, care about ballet!
Brandon got his wife stolen by her own… brother
Being ditched at the altar is a humiliating experience in itself, and one that I would wish on very few people, but the bride leaving you for her own brother? That’s on an entirely different level of white people shit that my melanated self simply cannot get my head around.
Correction: Brandon wasn’t ditched at the altar (before the marriage), he was ditched several years later (after the marriage)... which is even worse. Yikes.
Brandon unfortunately didn’t reply for a while, leaving everyone hanging and promptly causing the entire app to crash out. And rightfully so! You can’t just drop a bombshell like this and dip without any further explanation. Was this a spelling mistake? Did he mean his own brother, which is still bad but definitely better than the other option? We hoped so.
Someone went on a deep dive into his TikTok account and confirmed that she did, in fact, leave him for her own blood brother, and then he confirmed it himself in the funniest way. Apparently they’re from Kentucky so I’m not too surprised, honestly.
He’s since confirmed that he’s even got a child with her back home which makes this even more diabolical. There’s a whole other world out there. Stay safe, y’all.
don’t forget your teeth on a date
You think you’ve heard every wacky story out there until you join Threads. A recent incident involves a lady who went on a blind date and forgot her teeth.
I’d repost some of the comments here but they’re all too good and I can’t choose I recommend giving the original thread a read. It’s brilliant. I have no idea how this is possible and honestly? I don’t want to. This is amazing enough without context.
banksy got doxxed (but not really)
The buzz on Threads concerning infamous street artist Banksy followed a massive Reuters investigation published in mid-March 2026, which claimed to have unmasked Banksy “beyond dispute”. While the name Robin Gunningham has been a top theory since 2008, the report added layers of evidence that seemingly confirmed a long-standing rumor.
On Threads, the reaction was split between “I knew it” and “you’ve ruined the magic”.
Many art collectors and fans debated whether unmasking him would tank the value of his work with one viral post arguing that the mystery was 90% of the art. Legal & safety concerns were also brought up by Banksy’s lawyer, Mark Stephens, who issued a stern statement accusing the media of violating the artist’s privacy and potentially putting him in danger, given the illegal nature of his work and his political activism.
I will note that none of this is confirmed and purely based on speculation right now!
first doggo!
I’m so happy to announce that we’ve reached some super wholesome updates! This one made me tear up. The replies are full of people sharing adorable pics of their own fur babies. Give the full thread a read, you won’t regret it (linked).
lost and found wedding film
Such a heartwarming incident. I hope they tipped him generously, what a legend. Full thread linked here.
manager denied her vacation and she went anyway
This is the kind of spirit we love to see on Threads. She mentioned beneath that she only requested off two days, not the entire week and now she’s considering quitting her job as they don’t treat her well generally. I love seeing women being unapologetic and standing firm.
near-divorce at the miguel concert
Is this the next Megan? We shall see. This is a pretty self-explanatory post but I’ve linked it here for good measure if you want to read all the updates yourself!
OP wasn’t expecting her post to blow up but she’s generously shared updates with us, including the seating chart. If you were at Inglewood, Kia Forum LA to see Miguel, you’re a part of Threads history! Congratulations.
Last I saw, the girlfriend didn’t come back. WHERE ARE YOU BABE??
lace ankle cuffs
We’ve established that jean skirts are ugly, but what about… lace ankle cuffs?
It’s a no from me, and Miranda Priestly too. It’s giving pantaloons. As always, the comment section is a hoot and I highly recommend scrolling through the hilarious replies. I love this app.
passing of the grill
Read this at your own risk. I teared up. Full thread linked. Please give it a read. I don’t think I could do it justice. This is so beautiful. Family is everything.
duck tax
You’ve heard of pet tax. Now, get ready for duck tax! This is the kind of problem I need in my life. The entire thread is awesome and deserves a read (linked).
UPDATE: I’m pleased to announce, a few months later, that the duck tax has been paid, though apparently declined! Fussy ducks…
raisins in guacamole: does it warrant bringing back the death penalty?
I think yes. I am not white. I am reminded of that everyday, when someone called me the n word at the shops yesterday (not even the right slur.. if you’re gonna be racist, do it properly!) or when I stumble across a post like this abomination (linked).
PLEASE take a look through the replies if you need a laugh. They’re exactly what you’d imagine they are and they’re perfect. No notes. C’mon, cumskin folks, do better!
Even Threads had shit to say.
the raptor
In case you haven’t yet heard, the Raptor on Sunday, March 22nd. No, not the rapture. The raptor. Yes, the dinosaur. Behold, the post that launched a thousand memes. We really do owe half the lore on here to our dear elderly population. I hope Cornelius isn’t MAGA for his sake and ours. Remember to leave out meat and cookies for The Holy Raptor themself this upcoming Sunday and please note that the Raptor and Armageddon are not the same thing. All are welcome at The Church of Holy Theropod. Let us prey.
UPDATES ON THE RAPTOR (from Australia):
It’s with a heavy heart that I confirm this is true. RIP Raptor.
threads works faster
If you ever need to find someone, just post about it on Threads and pray the algorithm does its thing. 9/10 of the times it will. A recent example of this is when a lady asked Threads to find a kid who stayed with her during an exchange program in the early 90s. Impossible, right?
We did it in under 12 hours. Katie and David have solidified their places in the Threads lore and as an example of how the app somehow manages to unite everyone in the strangest, funniest ways. Give it a read here.
psychic hairdresser dead mom backyard dino dig
It’s giving Lana Del Rey song title?? This one was hard to explain hence why it’s taken me a month to add it into the lore archive. I linked it above so give it a read because it’s a real rollercoaster. Summary:
OP has just moved interstate to a new home 6 years ago
enter new character: her mom’s psychic hairdresser Gary
when her mom passed, OP saw signs from her and Gary claimed she spoke to him and told him to call her daughter; he would call and blurt out random phrases that seemingly made no sense and ask what was going on in OP’s life, etc
OP knew she was texting and talking to Gary, but her mom was on the receiving end and this went on for 6 years with Gary leaving her tiny breadcrumb clues that she tried to piece together
one day Gary called her up and told her that her mom was sitting on his couch and saying that there’s a fully intact dinosaur fossil underneath OP’s house
on April 28th, the Dino Dig began
she had to dig below the deck which she managed to achieve in August and from under the floorboards, OP started seeing a small flash of light on the ground in front of her, no bigger than a quarter
she dozed off for 20 minutes until her husband called for her and found lots of missed texts and calls from Gary who didn’t even know she’d been digging
she continued digging and researching dino fossils in the area
she’s still digging and if you want more updates: look no further!
alan from virginia
A shared trait of the majority of Threads micro-celebrities are their old age and their batshit insanity. Alan is a prime example. He diligently posts details about the upcoming rapture and Maria, who we do not like apparently. He’s also not MAGA which is great! Here is a very succinct summary by Alan from Virginia himself:
He’s got so many banger posts that it’s difficult to choose a few to post here but the gummies post that fueled his rise to fame definitely deserves a mention!
Please take a scroll through his account. It’s truly a work of art. Alan will forever go down in history for his contribution to making Threads a wholly unserious place. Barbasol shaving cream, please sponsor this man!
afroman
Also known as the “Lemon Pound Cake trial”. I’ve been trying to read up on this one because it’s been referenced on Threads a lot.
It started when the Adams County Sheriff’s Office raided Afroman’s (an American rapper) house in 2022 based on an anonymous tip, on suspicion of drug trafficking and kidnapping. No charges, nothing found. However, they damaged his property, stole $400 from him, and apparently eyeballed his cake. This is important information!
The rapper used his camera footage from the raid and made a song about it. The most famous, Lemon Pound Cake, featured a deputy eyeing a cake on his kitchen counter. Now the law enforcement involved are suing him, claiming defamation and some other stuff, like violation of their privacy even though this all happened in his house.
The seven deputies claimed that he subjected them to “humiliation, ridicule, and mental distress” which led to death threats against them as well as the misuse of their likenesses for commercial profit. Basically just some corny, whiny bitch bullshit.
Many users were celebrating the verdict as a win for the First Amendment, while others were discussing the mean-spirited nature of some of his posts (specifically comments about a female officer's gender and sexuality). All in all though, the public seemed to be in agreement that suing him was too much and didn’t uphold the free speech laws that America claims to be so proud of.
On March 18 this year, an Ohio jury ruled in favor of Afroman on all counts. The core of the defense was First Amendment protection, arguing that the videos were social commentary and parody. It also maintained that Police officers are public officials and must expect public scrutiny.
Afroman’s attorney famously told the jury, “does this look like a man who thinks everybody’s going to assume everything he’s saying is fact?” while Afroman sat in a suit covered in American flags which led to a lot of memes especially on Threads. He posted a video of himself shouting, "We did it, America! Freedom of speech!" outside the courthouse, which has been widely reshared too.
Unfortunately Afroman has since been found to be MAGA which is super disappointing but not much of a surprise given our history here on Threads.
freezer meat husband
I honestly have nothing to add. Read the full thread here. Funny stuff, really. Long story short, he survived!
puffy cat
Zoe is our latest addition to the Threads lore hall of fame, and it’s a much deserved spot. In early March, she arrived at Palm Springs Animal Shelter as a stray kitten, and the staff could immediately tell that there was something odd about her.
Her entire body, as you can see, was puffed up (and not because her fur was fluffy). There was somehow a large amount of air trapped under her skin, which was making her expand like a hot air balloon.
The shelter staff had never seen anything like it so they immediately brought in their medical director who quickly determined that Zoe had subcutaneous emphysema, which is a condition where air is trapped in her body’s subcutaneous tissue and was likely caused by some kind of injury to her neck that made air start to leak. He started working on slowly extracting the air from her body bit by bit.
Zoe was said to have taken the operation very well, described to have a fighting spirit.
You go, Zoe!!!!
Thankfully, she’s already doing much better — most of her puffiness is gone at this point. As she continues to heal, the plan is to transfer her to a foster home where she will be made available for adoption. Follow their Threads account for updates!
danny danny is a cheater
Poor Chlover Cooper doesn’t just have an incredibly unfortunate name, she’s also most definitely being cheated on. She posted about a girl sending her husband mail online, believing she’d get the last laugh, until it backfired on her.
As the comments explain patiently, the girl has their address and evidently has been having romantic conversations and inside jokes with her husband. I think she might have to ask Danny if he really is happily married after all. Better question, she might have to self-reflect and ask that of herself, given some of her concerning past posts…
To make this situation even funnier, someone in the comments (user @mrs_ellman) posted how funny it was that the algorithm put these posts next to each other. They commented offering that if Chlover decided to leave her cheating husband, there’s someone they’d like to introduce you to (given we survive the raptor on March 22nd!).
Further information: APPARENTLY SHE NAMED HER KID NAIVE?? NOT-SO-SUBTLE FORESHADOWING. THIS IS PURE GOLD. I LOVE THREADS.
ashleigh’s swallowing human DNA
I remember scrolling past this post and snorting at the replies but I didn’t think it would reach Threads lore status. I’ve been proven wrong, thanks to Ashleigh!
This is a hilarious reply and deserved a spot in the hall of fame regardless, but the follow up post truly solidified its place as a certified piece of Threads history. Thristory, even.
Come on Stevo, she didn’t even say it was semen!!!
anne hathaway
Threads is famously for the plebs only. Influencers and celebrities aren’t allowed unless they’re Hudson Williams, but we’ve clearly decided to make one more exception for Anne Hathaway, Queen of Genovia herself.
Unfortunately for her, we do not forget.
Someone please tell her she’s got a LOT of homework to catch up on and direct her to this archive. We do not take being a casual user on Threads very lightly.
brian’s coffee updates
A lovely man named Brian posts the best daily (and often hourly… that’s a lot of coffee!) coffee updates. This is his most recent post. Keep up the good work, Brian! This is the kind of boots on the ground journalism we love to see.
quantum bagel
Renée discovered a Dunkin bagel that defies the laws of space and time. Just an average day on Threads, where new scientific discoveries occur on the daily! I’m no expert on the quantum realm but I’ve watched enough Marvel movies to know that this means there’s an alternate version of her out there who never got to eat her bagel.
Read the full thread here! OP did not eat the bagel. Wise choice. I don’t think they do customs checks in the quantum realm.
guy who thinks he’s a werewolf
This is probably the most dramatic and unorthodox way I’ve ever seen someone announce that they’re a furry but I’m here for it. The replies are full of autism diagnoses and one guy claiming he’s a fridge. It’s wonderful. Full thread linked.
After some sleuthing, I found out he’s one of those weirdos who comments on underage girl’s posts and pedo-baiting porn bots, which checks out. Very Jacob from Twilight of him. This was one of my favourite replies to his post:
avocado pear
I’ve seen a lot of horrific things in my mere 18 years of life but this takes the cake. As a certified avo-lover (before it got trendy, mind you), this is criminal.
I have a lot of questions but I’m also not sure if I really want them to be answered. Did she eat the peel? A piece of friendly advice for the avocado haters out there, try it sliced and spread it on some toast (it goes well with ciabatta and sourdough, I’ve found!), and if you want, add a little salt & pepper. Trust me! Just don’t do this.
pendulum nuts
I honestly don’t have anything to add to this one. What the hell, sure.
The entire thread is UNHINGED and I love it.
dianahedson
I’m telling you, ninety percent of this app’s lore is carried solely by unknowing boomers who don’t understand social media and crash out. Consider this one, where there were like 20 pictures that all looked like this. Diana, girl… why?
The replies are the best part, as always, and I’ve linked the thread here. Honestly, her whole account is such a vibe. She’s really going through it. Spitting bars, truly.
guy who hired people to cut down his neighbour’s tree and pretended it was his house
I’m sure most of us have had experience with terrible neighbours in one way or another, and the Threads lore has already dealt with some truly horrendous ones (cough cough beastberry) but this is some crazy stuff.
There are plenty more updates and they’re all up on her account so I recommend giving it a scroll through if you’re nosey but here are some of the screenshots in case she deletes or goes private!
Margot Epstein
I’ve come across some pretty terrible baby names on social media before, from a pale ass white child named “Zayn Malik” to anything ending in “-leigh”. It’s with full confidence that I say this is the worst one I’ve ever stumbled across.
Unfortunately the baby’s mother, Justyna, has since privated her account. It’s for the best, but the replies were hilarious. I wish I got some screenshots earlier.
The Johnoverse
I’m still deciding on a name for this one: Into the Johnoverse, Johnistan. Who knows. Point is, someone sent me this post where there were four political systems for John and I was invested. I did some sleuthing and this is awesome.
This thread has a comprehensive and ever-growing list of all the Johns (there’s even a couple Juans too, I noticed). I just really loved threads. This is the only World War III I want to see this year. Viva Johnistan!!!
“imagine not having to change your last name”
Confession: I’ve always found the idea of ‘dating Threads’ a bit corny and annoying, mostly because all the people I’ve seen trying to find a date on the app are old white men cheating on their wives and trying to chat up minors. That is, until this goldmine showed up. Firstly, a moment for this gorgeous lady. The hair! The facecard! Iconic.
You wouldn’t think it could get better than this, until you opened the replies.
Me personally, I’m (im)patiently awaiting my invitation to the Lewis x Lewis wedding.
I love this app.
don’t eat your dead pet goldfish please
I cannot fathom the idea of eating a pet, let alone making a fish fillet sandwich out of a fish I had for three years. Goldie ain’t die for this disrespect. Bury him and give him a proper funeral like he deserves. And stop body-shaming the poor fish too!
As always, the replies to this thread are better than the original post itself. To make this situation even funnier, in OP’s next thread, they said they had it for five years even though the original said three, and they hadn’t even given the damn fish a name in all that time. At this point, put Patrick in jail ‘cause this is actually diabolical.
On the bright side, at least he didn’t eat the fish (I hope) and made it a tombstone instead. The good ending, as some would say.
abortion clinic name ideas
Threads users are putting comedians out of jobs, true story. Ironically, there are a lot of actual comedians on the app but none of them are particularly funny in my humble and very correct opinion. Take this post, for example:
It’s funny in itself, but as expected, it’s in the replies that’s where the real treasure is. Some of my personal favourites include “Defetus”, “Babies R’nt Us”, “Don’t Kid Yourself”, “No Kidding”, etc. I actually snorted. I’ve linked the original post so you can take a scroll through the other 2 thousand and counting replies yourself! Thank me later.
etsy customer wanting a refund for something they bought four years ago
As someone with friends who run small businesses that predominantly profit off of platforms like Etsy, I’ve heard so many horror stories about awful customers and whatnot, but this one takes the cake. The audacity is crazy.
I’ve linked the post so I recommend going through it at your own pace for all the juicy details but basically the customer tried to guilt trip the seller into giving them a refund for a product they bought over four years ago, which broke. When the seller didn’t budge, they threatened to reach out to Etsy and the seller basically went “go ahead” because Etsy literally has a policy where they don’t refund orders after 120 days or something so good luck with that.
The same user was found to be messaging other sellers with a similar complaint about orders placed in 2022 and apparently this is a common scam so to any Etsy sellers reading this, please be mindful of scammers like this!
Go support Kait’s (OP) Etsy shop here!!! Use code SCAM15 for 15% off this weekend only too. Bloody brilliant work.
pleasant head shape
My favourite kind of Threads lore is the harmless compliment kind. I also love when the full context (in different posts) all comes up on my feed at once. I saw this one in the morning and I thought it was hilarious in itself - she really does have a pleasant head shape! She’s gorgeous.
I didn’t think it could get much better until the rest of the posts began to arrive on my feed during the day. First was the aftermath of his reply, when her post and it blew up, which was super funny.
Again, I didn’t think the situation could possibly get funnier after this until Zavid’s post came up on my feed. He made a whole poll to determine if he should comment this or not (and clearly did LOL). Between this and the “imagine not having to change your last name”, I’m really loving this brand of Threads lore!
shane hollander pfp for april fools
April 1st is always a fun day on social media, especially Threads. This year, multiple fandoms and groups did funny things, including changing their pfps to a certain celeb or character, but I like to think the Heated Rivalry fandom stole the spotlight this year! It is tHReads, after all.
Massive shoutout to user @hauntedhistorian for coming up with this idea. This was my profile, it looks like that one Lizzo meme haha. Everyone’s been customizing theirs and adding little bows and even dressed lil Shane up in the land leopard costume amongst others. I love this fandom sometimes.
ao3 omega april fools
On the topic of April fools, another funny prank was Archive of Our Own, the (in)famous fanfic site, changing their site title to read ‘omega’ instead of ‘beta’.
I was sad to see it go, but in other news, the site has now exited open beta (launched in 2009) and entered a brand new era. As someone who’s been a user since forever, I’m so excited to see where this goes! Read more about the new change here.
Becky’s dead husband and son (maybe)
Threads lore isn’t always straightforward. Sometimes it’s a whole ass riddle like this one. I read this five times over and I’m still so confused. I have so many questions. There’s just so much to unpack:
She lost her first husband. Does that mean the second one still alive?
Her "son" is apparently not a son but a daughter according to some of the replies and Becky is misgendering them on purpose. Ew, I hope not.
The second picture is a screenshot of a cropped pic from the photo app
Casually mentioning finding the first husband in the backyard with a gunshot wound with no further context is crazy. Did she do it? Who knows.
I’m pretty sure she accidentally cross-posted this from Facebook as most of the boomers on here do but her other posts are pretty hilarious. Her most recent one is about having a gambling addiction. Have a scroll through Becky’s profile here.
As intrigued as I am, I personally am not going to get invested in this one until someone finds out who Becky voted for and where she was on January 6th. I googled her late husband’s name and nothing came up so do with that info what you will.
The origin story of Sherlocked was that she and her husband bought her MIL and FIL's house and they were supposed to move out but never did. SIL comes over every Tuesday with her kids and without asking expects someone to feed all of them, and Sherlocked generally keeps getting guilted into things for SIL and MIL. Then SIL and MIL decided that SIL's child's birthday party (which a lot of other children and families would be attending) was going to be hosted at Sherlock's house without asking her, I believe it was also on a Tuesday night or something when she had to work. They didn't ask her and they didn't expressly ask her to help (which they couldn't do outright before the party because they hadn't asked her about the party although they kept hinting) so she decided that it was not her problem and didn't help. At one point during the party they wanted her to help and she said she was sure they could handle it and went off to admire the walls.
https://www.threads.com/@i_am__sherlocked__/post/DPb-rrkjOnn?xmt=AQF0I7b2BoYSh7L6OF76MXmLl0g3p-m4WRBkiDn5OgoqqMLsy-Jlm9dtvUnTz1ceSFP1wUpu&slof=1
This is the beginning of sherlocked. The issue was less of a mother and sister in law issue as it was a husband issue, de facto signing her up to host without asking. The following account is her stepping out and forcing him to take responsibility for all of it, while she… admired the walls.